I'm still working out my emotions about Paris (and Beirut, and Baghdad). I've seen half my Facebook feed upload new profile pictures with red, white and blue filters. A message of solidarity I suppose.
But enough armchair activism. Because, what does that honestly achieve?
Social media is a bubble - an inflated, conflated, heightened version of reality. A hundred shares, a thousand likes - quickly gets buried in an ever-refreshing cycle of information.
What I want to know is this: What can I do at a layperson level?
Something concrete that has a chance of making a difference?
I've mulled over it these last two days. And what I've come up with is this:
THREE THINGS WE CAN DO TO DEFEAT ISIS
1. Stay curious and open-minded
I was inspired by what Singapore's Deputy Prime Minister Tharman Shanmugaratnam said post-attacks. "Nothing can ever defeat the spirit of open-mindedness".
So what does open-mindedness look like?
For me, it's pledging to pursue knowledge, to seek out ideas, to do something new everyday. It's about creating, imagining, thinking. It's about asking a colleague what her family does at Divali. It's about signing up for a free online course to learn how to code. It's jumping into the car and going with my son on his fungal forays.
I will honour the peaceful souls of those who lost their lives in the Bataclan and beyond - people who died while just simply living, enjoying music, eating at a cafe, walking with friends, I will honour them by not taking the ordinary for granted.
2. Be a bridge, not a barricade
My initial instinct when I heard the news was to say "not again!". And if I were to be brutally honest, it was to look at the idyllic, welcoming, Hobbity country I now live in and wonder when it would be our turn. When it would be our turn for some extremist to cause our streets to run with blood.
I remember voicing my anger, ranting out loud about how New Zealand was just so welcoming of people. That at some point, one of the people we accepted onto our shores would turn out to be a poster boy for radicalisation.
I remember feeling an almost immediate sense of shame. The feeling that voila, here I am falling right into ISIS' sick trap. That's exactly what they want us to do. To seethe and feel hate and put our walls up.
So I pledge to build bridges. To raise my children to do the same. To find common ground, shared values. To find something that can make the other party smile, or better yet, laugh.
3. Have hope. Be realistic.
Above all, I pledge to remain optimistic, but realistic.
I imagine a world in twenty years where ISIS is a footnote in history. But today, we need to be vigilant. This is what I'll tell my kids (when they're ready to hear it).
If you see a man leave a backpack in the bus, sound the alarm.
If you're walking down the street and you hear a sound like a firecracker, duck. Run away from the sound. Do anything to get away.
If you are taken hostage in a theatre, stay quiet, play dead. Or, if you're in a well-lit area, and you can see who is attacking you, and if you are physically able, then channel your inner Alek Skarlatos.
If you notice a friend suddenly changing their habits and withdrawing from society, alert someone. Alert their family, a teacher, a mentor. Me.
If you see an alarming message on social media, report it. If it's written by someone you know, still report it.
Now's not the time to be embarrassed, or overly polite. The battle will be won with the right balance of dreamers and street-smarts.